Everything to Gain

Today I am a little lighter then yesterday. I let go of some of the weight that I have been carrying on my heart. I have been engulfed recently by the natural forces of the world and the global need to let go. This time of year is about that very thing, watching all that has been growing strongly take a required break and find respite within its own stillness by letting pass on what is no longer needed. I am seeing this everywhere, jobs shifting, relationships revaluated, people passing, priorities being set and the fat being trimmed. It is as though the world is taking a deep breath in preparing itself for the next season and a comfortable place to rest. I have to keep reminding myself to be open and accepting to this process, my genetic makeup leaves me wanting to clutch everything in the palm of my hand and wait out the storm. However this is not health, or the purpose of right now, what I really need to do is release my grip and move forward into the unknown.

I recently made a list of my priorities, in my attempt to hold onto only the things of great important to me. Allowing everything else I no longer need to contently fall by the wayside. In doing so, I found that my list of priorities was actually quite small, focused and clear. I was once told that you are supposed to visualize the things are cannot live without, I considered this and discovered that I really need very little in order to survive. If necessary I can live without my cell phone, computer, clothes and car and all my other material processions. This left me with only a roof over my head, some food in my belly, my family, friends and my sketch book as my only lifelines for survival. When I looked at this tiny list of necessary needs, I knew that all of these things will in fact always be mine. Now finding myself truly with nothing to lose, and everything to gain. It is this truth that offered me the courage to continue to achieve my dreams, find my inner power and muster up the strength to take that uncertain leap forward. With a pocket filled with nothing more than my possibility for greatness, today I am following the example set by the earth and allowing for the things no longer needed in my life to be released.

Be Gracious

Brand New

I am new again. I had been healing for so long that I no longer recognized my lack of health. Until recently able to identifying my happiness as my respite, moving forward from the constant battle of being pushed and pulled along the thin lines of stress and mental health, always concerned that this force might finally be the one that breaks me. This recent transition reminds me how easily days are encouraged to come and go and how effortlessly I can pack responsibilities and opportunities onto my plate without drowning in the overwhelming task of life. I see the ease in which I can make or break plans with friends, receive bad news, and lightly take on my day. Waking up every morning to me my unforced smile as the reflection in my mirror and once again having an appetite that matches my eyes. These are all the signs of my health, and I had forgotten how wonderful that felt.

As I walked through the other end of my healing I was reminded the same thing I have been told all along, only now I was ready to listen. Reminded that some days are going to be much harder than the others, and sometimes those hard days get strung all in a row. But after them, there will be good days. This I promise. Days so wonderful that they will let you forget the bad ones, giving you room to love again, stand up for yourself, let people into the depths of your soul, speak loudly and laugh fully, all in knowing the inevitability of eventually being hurt again, but yet believing it is still so worth it to try.

Because time really does heal all wounds, and life really does go on. That part of me is no longer vulnerable and I am once again able to dance easily along the line of balance, taking and leaving as I choose, no longer afraid of pain’s shadow or the spaces between it. Like always my health appeared just in time, when the amazing people who were supporting me now find themselves in a place of healing and in need of my love, support and tender words. With the divine order of the universe I find myself once again the strong shoulder to lean on, the one with their footing deep into the earth and the steadiness amongst the chaos. The same message they once told me, that there is in fact always light at the end of the tunnel, now comes out loud and clear, with true belief, trust, understanding and somehow in the sound of my own voice.

Be Free

Photos By Ellen Rogers

http://www.ellenrogers.co.uk/