Loosening the Grip

For me change is most often found saturated in fear, even though I am clearly aware of its inevitability. Yet somehow it still manages to frighten me and leave me dead in my tracks. What is the root of this fear? It is as though I am afraid the leaves will not one day turn back green after they have dried up and fallen to the ground. Fearful that I will somehow forget what they looked like or how they smelled, and while I live in this fear of change I meanwhile forget to see the snow, the white blanket over the world, the smell of purity and the brisk air on my skin. I forget right up until the time in which it begins to melt away, then find myself both longing for what has been and afraid of what might come.

A friend once told me that you never truly step backwards, because even when you are stepping backwards you are still stepping forward. He was right. Therefore change is always a step forward. No matter how it’s outer layers may look it is always stepping into the new season, whether is a season of cold, of hot, of new growth or of necessary death it always comes in the right order, just where it belongs. Making change not only anticipated but also well received. I am learning to hold tightly onto this concept, and loosen my grip on what has been. Through this I know change is in fact the only sign that enough time has passed and that I am now finally ready to know, be or awaken something new.