Pursuing Happiness

In the past I have often mistaken happiness for ease. When in truth they are very different. I believe it is easy to be unhappy if I choose; happiness on the other hand must be pursued. I must consciously choose to have happiness present in my life, I have to muster up the courage to walk away, reconstruct, and reconfigure myself into that very happiness. This is not a onetime act, this is a constant evolving road with many stop offs and very few visible signs. Most of the time I have ended up following in someone else’s footsteps in hopes that they are on the right track to happiness and I can somehow just hitch a ride. The remarkable part about happiness is that it rarely looks the same for two people. Not to say it never does, because it is those few people who happen to share the same definition that I choose to hold close, knowing they are in fact my company to share that with.

For the most part however my definition of happiness is just that, mine. So this road has been most successfully taken on my own, lined with my personal goals and desires in mind. Once I was able to conjure up a visual, a feeling or a word for that happiness, I was able to turn an abstract hope into some tangible concept to chase after. It is this pursuit that reminds me I am alive, that reminds me I woke up today to achieve something more than paying this month’s rent, finding the perfect pair of fall boots or surviving another work week. It reminds me of my big picture, the one that I want to spend a lifetime sitting back and looking at with the contentment of an accomplished artist knowing despite its perceived imperfections it is simply both perfect and mine.